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The Ex-Factor
By Susanne Scheppmann
Key
Verse:
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be
careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far
as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:17-18 NIV)
Devotion:
“Your ex-husband stayed with you when your son
graduated?” my friend asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“That is the
weirdest, most amazing thing I have ever heard,” she responded
It’s true. My
ex-husband has stayed in our home a couple times for special occasions. I admit
it felt odd. However, it was worth my uncomfortable feelings, because it
allowed my children to observe a living example of forgiveness, kindness, and
gentleness through the grace of God.
In addition, my
husband’s ex-wife has celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with our family. These few
hours of “making peace” enabled me to create a deeper relationship with my
stepdaughter. In my opinion, the results were well worth the anxiety I
experienced prior to the “ex’s” arrival.
Although God does
not command us to invite ex-spouses into our homes, He does expect us to
forgive and attempt to be at peace with them as long as it depends on us. Out
of all human relationships, “the ex-factor” holds the most potential to create
conflict and bitterness. Every “ex-factor” contains its own problems, dilemmas,
and special circumstances. As with any problem, we should always seek God for
wisdom.
So, as we proceed
with the attitude of our key verse, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on
you, live at peace with everyone,” let’s seek God’s advice and wisdom. He will
direct our steps in any difficult relationship. Let’s put into practice
Proverbs 2:9-11, “Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and
you will know how to find the right course of action every time. For wisdom
will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy. Wise planning will
watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe (NLT).” The wisdom of God with
the direction of the Holy Spirit will help us discern the right course of
action with every relationship—even the ex-factor.
Prayer:
Dear
Lord, grant me the desire and ability to pursue peace in every difficult
relationship. Give me wisdom in complex relational interactions. Thank you for
Your love and forgiveness in my own life. Allow me to mirror Your love and
forgiveness love to others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Application
steps:
Consider
the various relationships in your life. Make a list of people you feel
animosity toward. Ask for the desire and ability to forgive anyone you harbor
anger or bitterness against. Seek God’s direction with His words, “as far as it
depends on you,” that you might live at peace within these relationships.
Reflections:
How
do I reflect God’s love in difficult relationships?
Are
my children able to see my attempts at peace making?
Have
I sought God’s wisdom in dealing with thorny people who intersect with my
family?
Power
verses:
Ephesians
4:31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as
well as all types of malicious behavior.” (NLT)
Hebrews
12:14-15, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy;
without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the
grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile
many.” (NIV)
Luke
6:37, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will
not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (NIV)
© 2008 by Susanne Scheppmann. All rights reserved.
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