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Would you tell if you knew your girlfriend's husband was cheating?
After the scandal of Tiger Woods (of which I am very tired) I have wondered if any of Elin's friends knew. Did they allow her to stay in the dark or did they tell? What would you do?
Many years ago, I needed to make this decision. Sadly not once, but twice, I was put in this position. The first time, it seemed everyone and their dog knew about my friend's husband's affair. However, no one said anything to her, including myself. When the truth finally came out, my girlfriend felt betrayed by everyone. Basically, she cut herself off from her friends and started a new life without us. It was a great loss for me. I still ache for the love and laughter of that friendship.
So when the situation happened with another girlfriend a couple of years later, I told my girlfriend. The truth hurt. Once again, a lost friendship. She was mortified and chose to distance herself from me and any others who knew the truth of the troubled marriage.
It's seems to be a no win situation. These two situations happened many, many years ago. I lost both friendships. Would I tell now? I don't know. What's your opinion?
4 comments:
I would definitely tell. I was in the position of my first husband cheating on me and everyone at church knew but me. I was upset that no one would tell! But it ended and life went on. I have moved out of state since then, but still keep in touch with those friends that were around me at that time!
Yes, I would tell, simply because I think it is the right thing to do. I too had a cheating husband and wish someone would have told me rather than the way I found out. I'm sorry you lost both friendships Susanne. The humiliation of having been cheated on is hard to handle and takes time to heal from. I'm sure if you tried to get in touch with those women today, they would be very happy to hear from you.
God bless,
Toni
I would always tell, yes its going to hurt them and they may decide to be upset with you but, as long as you did the honest thing, than thats all that would matter, if shes a true freind she will not go away:)
This is a difficult decision, and since I've never faced it, I guess I can honestly say I don't know what I WOULD do, but I hope that I would tell her. I would hope that I would find the words and the behaviors to tell her and to help her through it. Another option might be to confront the cheating spouse and encourage him to repent.
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